


100 Tales of the Archer and the Merman

by RocksCanFly



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: 100 Drabble Challenge, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-31
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2017-10-30 09:54:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocksCanFly/pseuds/RocksCanFly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what it says on the tin. 100 (hopefully) drabbles of varying length, all centered around the wonderful, sarcastic, and vastly under-appreciated relationship between Aqualad and Red Arrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Memory and I Can't

11\. Memory-

 Sometimes, when they're lying together on the couch,  Roy remembers the first time he saw Kaldur.

The boy was awkward and overly formal, even more so then than now. He wasn't adjusted to the noise and bustle of land life yet. Ollie had him show the other partner (to this day he refuses to entertain the thought that he was _ever_ a _sidekick_ ) around Star City.

In a moment of inattention, when Roy had been busy trying to pursue a purse snatcher, he had forgotten that Kaldur didn't yet know how traffic worked. At the loud screaming of a horn behind him, he turned around, and was barely in time to save the Atlantean from being hit by an oncoming truck.

Now, even though Aqualad has long-since adjusted to life on the surface, Roy can't help but tense up when the other man gets near a busy roadway. In the back of his mind, he's always reminded of what he nearly lost.   
\-----

73\. I Can't-

" _You sonnuva fucking bitch_!"

"Roy, calm down-"

_SLAM!_

"NO. No, I will not fucking _calm down_. What the _hell_ were you thinking? _Were you thinking_? Of all the stupid, _selfish_ -"

"I do not see how saving the world is selfish, Harper."

"Oh, no. _NO_. You are not allowed to take that ' _I-am-oh-so-calm-about-this-and-Roy-you-are-being-irrational_ ' tone with me, you bastard! That shit will not stand! I can't believe you. You, just, _what the_ -"

"If you are about to ask _'what the hell were you thinking'_ , there is no need. Not only is your line of questioning redundant, but the answer you seek is also obvious. I needed to stop-"

"That's where you're _wrong_ , idiot! Why should _you_ have to stop anything? Why were you the one who had to take the big fucking leap of fate, _huh_? Batman was there, _dammit_! You're _sixteen!_ "

" _Tell me that you would have done differently_."

"This isn't about me, this is about-"

" _TELL ME THAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY, ROY_!"

"... _Fine_. I wouldn't have. But I'm not recon. I'm not Junior Justice League. They're not supposed to be watching out for _me_. But they're supposed to be watching out for _you_."

"There was no time to inform Batman or any other League members of my plan. Action had to be taken, and there was not time to wait for permission, or an alternative."

"I don't care. I don't. It shouldnt've been you. Wally told me about that, that _thing_. What it tried to do to him. If it had taken you-"

"I would not have died."

"No, but you might as well have."

"I would still be able to fight. I do not see-"

"-No. _You don't_. You _really_ , truly fucking don't. _Damn_ you, why are you such a fucking _idiot_? Don't you think anyone would care if you were gone?"

"I'm sure that Nabu would have-"

"I don't mean as a _hero_ , Kaldur! I mean _you_. People would miss _you_. Not _Aqualad_ , not the _team leader_ , not another _weapon_ , _you_. That's why you _scare the crap_ out of me! You keep putting yourself into these situations, and I don't even..."

"Roy? Are you..."

"Yes. _Yes_ , I'm _crying_. I'm _crying_ like some little _bitch_ because _I don't know what I'd do if I lost you_."

"..."

"Stop doing _this_ , you stupid bastard. I can't, I just _\- I can't._ "

"Roy. You know I cannot promise that. You also know that what you are asking is not fair."

"So, what? It's not fair to ask you to stop trying to kill yourself?"

"No. You know that i would never commit an act so selfish. but is is not fair to ask me to stop performing my duty. My duty to my team, to the League, to the world. I would not take these risks if I did not deem it necessary."

"So, out of every fully qualified person there, it just had to be you?

"I could not ask it of the others. They are too young, and none of them truly understand risk. Not like I do. The only other possible candidate present was Batman. The world needs him. He is the leader of the League. To allow him to fall in my place would have been an act of ultimate selfishness. We have gone over this. You would have done the same."

"But-"

"It is not like you to be so redundant, my friend. We are going in circles. I made my choice. you have fully admitted that you would have done the same as I. Why can you not respect my decisions? I have no _desire_ to die. But I will _not_ allow others to suffer when I can prevent it. I had thought you would respect that."

"You know I do. Respect you, I mean, but... You need to try harder to stay alive. I wouldn't stop you if there wasn't any choice. You know I wouldn't. But you never look hard enough to find one before you go diving in."

"...I concede that point. Let us make a bargain. I will attempt to make a greater effort to find alternative solutions to putting myself at risk, as long as that solution does not endanger the team or the mission."

"And in return? What do I get to do to keep your ass intact?'

"You will agree to take a communicator."

"Wait, so to keep you _safe_ , I have to agree to be the Justice League's bitchboy? Kal, _what the_ -"

"I was not aware you thought of me as a 'bitchboy'."

"Oh, shit, wait, you know I didn't _\- Are you laughing_?"

"My apologies. The stress of today, and the aftermath of our fight... my emotions are not as controlled as is normal. It was a joke. The communicator would only be accessible by myself and Batman. I am sure even _you_ trust him to use discretion."

"Yeah. It's not like he doesn't have my place bugged, anyways. Fine. I'll be available for help, and you'll try to keep yourself from needing it. Deal?"

"Deal. Roy?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you kindly let me down from the wall now? My shoulders are growing sore."

"Sure. After I do this."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So- _*pant*_ \- still want down?"

"I think I could bear a few more minutes. For the sake of sealing our contract.'

"Yeah _, sure_."

 

 


	2. Cat and Rated

23\. Cat-

"You're kidding me, right? _Catwoman_?"

 

"Believe me, I was surprised myself.'

 

"No, no, _no_. This goes _beyond_ surprise. This goes straight into... _wow_."

 

"I do not see why this is so surprising to you."

 

"Don't get snippy. I just thought she was more into the dark, menacing, humorless type."

 

"She said that it was because I reminded her of Batman. Simply... "

 

"Simply what?"

 

"Never mind. I do not recall what she-"

 

"Bullshit. You're blushing. Wait, _you're blushing_. Now I _have_ to know what she said. C'mon."

 

"She said that I was 'darker and sweeter, like a chocolate version of Battie-pie'."

 

"..."

 

"I seem to recall that it is neccasary for humans to breathe. It would be wise to cease laughing."

 

"..."

 

" _Roy_."

 

"Sorry. _My_ boyfriend got _hit on_ by _Catwoman_. And was compared to _chocolate_. By _Catwoman_. I'm allowed to find this hilarious."

 

"I do not see how this is so amusing."

 

"This means that Catwoman thinks you're more like Batman than _Robin_? Oh, when he finds out about his he's gonna be _pissed_. He's had a crush on her for _years_."

 

"Actually, Robin was present when she began her... flirtation. I aslo believe she may be aware of his 'crush'.  She loudly mentioned that cats prefer fish over birds before she escaped."

 

"Oh, shit, _really_? What'd he say?"

 

"He did not say anything so much as he fell off the wall he was scaling and landed in a dumpster. I think that his infatuation explains why he was glaring at me on the way back to the Cave. As well as the recent, inexplicable lack of interesting language on his part."

 

"Wait, he _stopped slaughtering the English language_? Adorable. _Robin_ , in love with a _villain_! This is hilarious!"

 

"I seem to recall _some other_ young hero with an infatuation with a feline-themed villain."

 

"... Why I did I teach you how to snark."

 

"It was not taught so much as absorbed, my friend."

 

"Too much time hanging around?"

 

"Actually, I believe it may have resulted from osmosis."

 

"Osmosis?"

 

"Yes, osmosis."

 

"What do you mean- _oh._ Ah, yeah, _osmosis_."

 

"I have yet to fully grasp sarcasm. Would you be willing to teach me tonight?"

 

" _Y-yeah_. I mean, _yes_. I think I can fit in some _osmosis_ right around now. But just as a favor."

 

"Of course."

\-----------------------------

 

40\. Rated-

 

" _Oh my God_. Ang, look, ten o'clock."

 

"Girl, you know I suck at those weird-ass directions of your- _oh_. Oh, wow. _Hello_ , sexy."

 

"That jaw-line...Mmm..."

 

"Do you see those shoulders? _Baby, take that sweater off_!"

 

"Shh! He'll hear you!"

 

"I don't mind. That is a _fine_ looking man. 'Sides, I'm sure he's used to it. Will you look at that _ass_!"

 

"Thank goodness for low coffee-counters, right? Jeeze, will you _look_ at that _waist_ , that _hair_... shame he's wearing a turtleneck, right?"

 

"Don't I know it. Wait a moment, I'm getting out my camera."

 

"Girl, that's _stalker_ ,  even for you."

 

"This is _Happy Harbor_. How many times a _year_ do we see a man that fine? I'll tell you. _Never_. I'm making this moment last."

 

"Woah. Hey, look up from your camera for a sec. Looks like Mr. Fine has a friend.'

 

"Ginger _? Nice_. Hey, he's pretty cute too. You thinkin 'what I'm thinkin'?"

 

"Them? No way in a million years. You're beautiful, hon, but it'd take a model to get those boy's attentions."

 

"I wonder if that's what they are? I've never seen 'em around town before."

 

"Well, they certainly seem to know one another well. I wonder what they're whispering about?"

 

"No clue. Hey, I'm gonna finish getting my camera out. Snap a shot with your phone real quick in case they get away before I get this hunk of junk turned on."

 

"Will do.... _holy crap_!"

 

"What? A third one? If yes, _please_ let him be brunet. I _like_ brunets."

 

"Uh, no. Not a third one."

 

"You okay? What's going- _Wow_."

 

"..."

 

_Snap._

 

"Did you seriously just _take a picture of them_?"

 

"Hey! Only thing better than _one_ hot man is _two_. Two hot men _making out_? Special bonus."

 

"You're so weird."

 

"Admit it. You like it too."

 

"Yeah, but- _ohshitaretheywalkingoverhere_?"

 

"Hello, ladies."

 

"Uh, um, ah- _Hi_?"

 

"How are you doing this fine afternoon?"

 

"Alright, I guess?"

 

"Awesome. I see that you were expressing interest in my friend here a few moments ago."

 

"Oh, is that what you call it-"

 

"Angela! _Shut_. _Up_."

 

"No, it's fine. I honestly can't blame you. Just, do me a favor?"

 

"Sure, gorgeous."

 

" _Angela!_ "

 

"Don't let that little photo of your leak online. We have friends who we'd don't want to be aware of our relationship."

 

"You can trust us."

 

"Good. Otherwise I'd have to break your camera."

 

"That's hilarious! Dude, no offense, but you've got the cold-hearted agent thing _down_. That was _really_ funny."

 

"My friend was not laughing. Nor is this matter humorous. If we cannot be assured of your cooperation, we will have to destroy your camera."

 

"..."

 

"Are you guys serious? it's not like it's X-rated or anything!"

 

"Trust us. With our colleagues, it might as well be."

 


	3. Horror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the toture scene from Game of Shadows.

 

 

Fuck... No no no not you not you anyone please damn fuck God _why-_

 __

 

 

Pretty little fish pretty little fish on a pretty little _goddamn-_

 

 

He's sick. He's _fucking sick_ and you've got to be okay or I _swear to God_ the Bat's gonna be pissed when I rip off that damn smile and watch that suit turn a darker shade of purple because this _isn't funny_.

 

 

Be okay. You're strong. You're one of the strongest people I know. But that's always gotten you hurt hasn't it? Because you let everyone think' it's okay he's stronger than everyone else (even stronger than Superboy, somehow, even though that makes no fucking _sense_ ) and we are oh so weak and he can handle it it'll be fine because he'll be okay'. 

 

 

And the worst part is that you let yourself _believe_ it and you end up getting _crushed_ and _damaged_ and _trampled_ and you don't let anyone know that you're _dying_. You're like a giant oak tree that's being eaten from the inside out by beetles, but people still lean against you for picnics and hang swings from your branches because _they don't know_.

 

__

_A pretty little fish on a pretty little_ \- but fish don't yell and this is the first time I've ever heard you in that much _pain_. You never scream when you're in pain, it's always gritted teeth and bulging veins and white knuckles, so this's got to be _agony_ for you and it's agony for me too because _I can't get to you_. 

 

 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck _fuck_....

 

 

I'm running out of arrow's and I'm pretty sure that'd I've killed a few guards by now (not on purpose but I'm not aiming for anything but what will bring them _down_ and get them out of my way because _you're still screaming_ ) but I can't find the door and the windows are too high and _where is your team_ they _should be here_ to save you, you shouldn't be _alone_. What the _hell,_ _where are you?_

 

 

And I've found the door, and I'm about to blow it up when Superboy comes out of fucking _nowhere_ and breaks it down and now Wally's flashing by me (If you were here you would smirk at that pun and please be okay because I need that and I need you to be here with me on some other mission because _no one else gets it_ ) and I can hear shouts and laughter and gunfire.

 

 

I rush in and start shooting before I see that Wally's disarmed almost everyone and Superboy's fighting a bunch of thugs and _I still can't see you_. 

 

 

Then Harley Quinn flips out of the _fucking ceiling_ and starts taking down KF before Robin also swings out of fucking nowhere (and is it just me or is everyone in Gotham a goddamn ninja?) and starts attacking her, so I can focus on finding you and that laughter is driving me insane and I need to _shut it up_ -

 

  

There's the door and I'm there in an instant (and is this what Flash feels like all the time?) and I'm through and I see you _hanging_ there and oh my God I'm so fucking freaked that I don't even see that bastard coming until I'm on the ground and he's swinging a knife at me that I barely roll out from under and now I'm pissed so I'm stupid and instead of getting at a better range I take a swing at him until I remember 'Oh yeah, ninja', and now he's bouncing away and he's still _laughing_ in my face, _goddamn_ him.

 

 

And then we hear the silence in the other room and I think he realizes that Quinn and his other goons are down, and I've got an arrow out that's heading for his face but at the last second he doges and escapes though another doorway. 

 

 

I barely stop myself from chasing him when I hear you groan and my eyes snap to you and shit _what has he done to you_? Then Robin's rushing by me and I know that he'll go after Joker because that's what they _always_ do and when Superboy and KF come after I stop KF and tell him to go get help for you **_now_** and tell Superboy to go with Robin, I'll get you down and then we're alone and I'm using the crane to lower you down until I can get you off-

 

 

\- And shit there's so much blood and you're almost passed out and I'm whispering _'I'm sorry, sorry, sorry' ,_ because it's caught in your shoulder so deep and I have to yank and I think I tore something but now you're off and I need you to stay awake because help's on the way but you're bleeding out _and don't die on me dammit._

 

 


	4. Saftey First

_You have_ _**got** _ _to be fucking with me._

There is no way this is happening. He refuses to acknowledge that this is happening. There is no place in the realm of possibility that this is happening.

But here he is, pinned to the floor of a warehouse, with the infamous super villain Black Manta glaring down at him (he thinks it's glaring. Hard to tell what with the mask). The villain is, oddly, not trying to kill him. Or giving a typical villain speech about all of Roy's faults before revealing his master plan. He's not even threatening him or his loved ones.

No. What Manta is doing is far, _far_ worse than anything he has ever experienced at the hands of a villain before.

He is trying to give Roy a talk.

Not just any talk, no. This is a Talk.

About protection. And STI's. And the mechanics of gay sex.

Fuck it all, this is _happening_.

"And that is why it is very important that you check the condom for holes before rolling it onto your- young man, are you paying attention to me?" Black Manta demanded, settling his hands on his hips in a distinctly _unsettling_ manner.

"Honestly?" he choked out, his throat dry with sheer horror, "I don't think anyone's ever had this much of my full attention in my _life_."

"Well, good." said Manta in a (creepily, because this a fucking super villain and he is giving Roy a _sex talk_ ) lighter tone. "You'll need to know these things if you're going to be safe. And I would hope, young Red Arrow," said Manta, leaning down and pressing a gun to Roy's temple (and a knife much closer to much more _sensitive_ territory).

He continued, hissing in Roy's ear, "That Aqualad would have you full and _complete_ attention when he is speaking to you. I wouldn't want to find out you've been mistreating him."

And fuck him that's the scariest voice he's ever heard in his life. And he's heard Batman _pissed_.

Also, he really wished that Manta'd remove that fucking knife.

Speaking of which, if Manta doesn't back off soon, Roy might be needing a new pair of pants.

Wait a hot-mother-fucking second, _what_?

"Aqualad?" he squeaked (manfully!) out. "Why the hell do you care about Aqualad?"

"That is not of your concern, _boy_ ," Manta growled, pressing the gun further into Roy's temple. "Just know that if I find out you've been mistreating him or forgetting to use protection, and trust me, I _will_ find out, that you'll be losing your ability to reproduce."

There are times for bravery. There are times for cocky, sarcastic one liners. There are times for underhanded tactics and impressive escape attempts.

When a pissed-off and oddly protective super villain is holding a damn _knife_ to your _balls_? That is _no_ t one of those times.

He'll probably shoot himself in the foot for this later, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Okay, yes, _yes_ , got it! Protection and listening, no problem. Now can you _please_ remove the knife?"

"Certainly," said Manta, and that bastard was grinning, he can fucking tell. "After we finish our talk. Now, on the subject of proper stretching..."

If Kaldur's the one who comes to rescue him, this is going go down as the most fucking horrifying mission _ever._

* * *


	5. Blood

 

"You've got to be kidding," Speed says, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Kaldur blushes, but forges on. This is _important_.

 

"I am not. It is an Atlantean military tradition, to tie the bonds of comrades-"

 

"Why would you care about a military tradition? You're a fuckin' kid man," Speedy says flippantly, gesturing out to his sides.

 

Kaldur straightens. This is nothing to be ashamed of, whether it makes him different or not. "I was conscripted into military service at the age of ten," he says seriously, hands at his sides. He resists the impulse to stand at attention. "Many Atlanteans from my province are."

 

Speedy reels back, eyes wide. Kaldur crumples for a moment, but remains tall. He is not ashamed. He is _not_.

 

"You've got to be kidding me," Speedy says softly. There's something in his eyes.

 

 Kaldur prays it isn't pity. He was proud to do his duty, even if that duty was only on border patrols and as support to the professional soldiers.

 

He nods his head, slowly.

 

"Ten?" Speedy repeats, incredulous. "But-"

 

Kaldur can see where this is going. "I have heard," he begins "that there is another sidekick on the surface, apprenticed to the hero called Batman. He is also ten, and he fights in Gotham, one of the most dangerous of all surface cities. Do you find it so terrible that he fights?"

 

Speedy, having twitched a bit at the word sidekick- Kaldur files this away for later. It would not due to ruin their friendship by off-handedly offending the other boy- shakes his head.

 

"That's different," he says. "Robin got to _choose_."

 

Kaldur sighs. Looks Speedy steadily in the eyes, his expression somber. "It is true that I was not allowed to decide whether or not to enter into the service of my country," he admits, allowing his hands to open from their fists. Strange. He had not realized he was making them. "But I am proud of that service just the same. It was my duty as a citizen of Atlantis, a duty to my country and to my king.

 

"Also," he  continues, a little uncomfortable sharing such things. He has not known Speedy for very long, but the other boy made him feel open. More free to share the who and why of himself, rather than just the what. "I desired to protect those precious to me. Serving in the military, and what I do now as a vassal of my king, these things have allowed- _do_ allow me to achieve that desire."

 

Speedy's expression softens. "So that's what this is about, huh? Protecting Atlantis?"

 

Kaldur smiles softly. "I have also grown fond of the surface," he amends. "I wish to protect the world. And," here is where it becomes uncertain. Kaldur has seen glimpses of it in the other before, on their missions together with their mentors. "And I have sensed the same desire in you. This would be a pledge. To the world's protection," the words that follow are heavy, but perhaps the most important. "At all costs."

 

Speedy sighs. Looks aside, then into his eyes. They are hopeful and oddly vulnerable. "And each other?" he questions, shifting closer.

 

Kaldur grins. "That is the meaning of camaraderie, my friend. To protect one another, and to serve a common goal."

 

"Right," Speedy straitens, the vulnerability disappearing. But he is smiling now, even grinning, as he holds out his palm. "How much is this gonna take?"

 

"A small cut should suffice," Kaldur replies, forming a small knife from his water bearer.

 

"But before we do this," Roy grabs Kaldur's wrist firmly but gently. With his other hand, he peels off his mask. Kaldur's breathe hitches. Speedy's eyes are blue.

 

"It's Roy, not Speedy, okay?" Spee- Roy, grins even harder, reaching back to scratch his head. The mask drops into the sand, unheeded.  His grip is still warm on Kaldur's arm.

 

Kaldur smiles- open and honestly- for what feels like the first time since he left Atlantis, two long months ago. "And I," he says warmly, squeezing Roy's wrist gently, "Am Kaldur."

 

Year later the scars are still there, faded but visible, when Kaldur clasps Roy's hand in his. Roy pulls him up from his hospital bed and embraces him tightly.

 

"You fucking _bastard_ ," Roy whispers brokenly into his neck.

 

Kaldur only holds him tighter, not bothering to fake an apology.  He knows that Roy, at least, understands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Single drabble, but it's long enough to warrant posting.
> 
> Written in the hopes that Kaldur will return to Roy (and to us) intact at the end of all this mess.
> 
> As always, any feedback or pointers on where spelling or grammar need fixing is always appreciated.


	6. Conversations (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the boys get drunk, and Roy's internal filter goes right out the window with his sense of irony.

* * *

 

“When I look into your eyes it’s like staring at the moon.

Don’t smirk at me you ass, just hear me out. I’m drunk, but so are you, so just shut up and let me _talk_.

I love you. You know that, or you’d better because fuck me if I don’t tell you every time I see you. But-

But sometimes you’re just so _distant_ , you know? You’re this great, shining, wonderful thing that’s always there except that sometimes it doesn’t seem like it? And you, you pull people towards you but all silently and without them even noticing, you know? And you’re great, you are. You- You’re _wonderful,_ babe. And I don’t deserve you- I _don’_ t, shut up this is my time to talk so just listen, okay?

 I don’t deserve you. I leave all the time, and I don’t call, and I’m sorry for that. I am.

And I’m grateful, that you’re still here for me after everything. I don’t… I honestly don’t know what the fuck I’d do without you. I love you. And you’re wonderful. But, babe, sometimes you’re just, it’s like you’re _just-_

It’s like you’re a thousand miles away, even when you’re lying next to me.

And I don’t know how much more of that I can take.”

 

* * *

 


	7. Conversations (Part 2, unrealated to Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shut up for once, okay?"

“Roy-“

“No.

Shut up for once, okay?

I’m done.

I’m so. Fucking. Done.

I’m not listening to you anymore you hear me you crazy bastard? No more excuses, no more of your shit about ‘duty’ or ‘sacrifice’. No fucking more.

Just.

No more.

You’re going to stop letting Dick push you around. No. _Shut up_. I mean it. You stay quiet, or Lian finds out why Uncle Kaldur missed her birthday.

Tell him you need off the team. Don’t even bother saying want, because it isn’t a fucking desire. You’re going to die out there one of these days if you stay with them.

Don’t look at me like that. You know it’s true. You keep pulling your noble sacrifice bullshit like you used to before Raquel beat some sense into your dumb ass. I don’t know if it’s because of Wally or what you had to do when you were under or because they all look so fucking young and you’re a sentimental idiot. But it needs to stop. And the only way that’s going to happen is if you get out.

Don’t sigh at me like that. And stop. Moving.

Here, we’re going to sit down. We are going to sit down right here on this fucking couch, and we’re going to have a talk before Lian gets home from Ollie’s house. And unless you have something constructive to say, you’re going to keep your sweet mouth shut, got it?

Good.

You need out Kaldur. And I’m not just saying that because you’re going to get yourself killed. You need. A _. Break._

It wasn’t fair of Dick to push the leader role back to you. You know it, I know it, Dick knows it, hell Amistad probably knows it, and he’s _two_.

What happened with Wally sucked. For everyone. But Dick should have seen how tired you were. How tired you still are.

No, keep your mouth shut or I’ll shut if for you. I know you, Kaldur. I see you. There’s a weight on your shoulders that didn’t used to be there, and I know you haven’t been sleeping well.

I know about the nightmares. No, I wasn’t sleeping through them. Yes, you wake me up almost every night. I didn’t say anything because I was hoping you’d just open up and talk to me.

I guess I haven’t learned a damn thing in ten years either, huh?

I wish the only words I knew in Atlantean were please, thank-you, harder, and I love you. But they’re not.

I know the words for no, traitor, murderer, and monster. And I didn’t learn them from a dictionary. I learned them from you whispering them over and over again every night since we fell back together.

That’s four months, babe.

You need to talk to someone, because I know you won’t talk to me. I’ve already scheduled you to go see Dinah tomorrow, but we can switch if you don’t want to talk to anyone in the League.

Babe, I love you. I love you, _I love you,_ **_I love you, you fucking idiot._**

And you need help.

And I can’t deal with this anymore. I can work through the nightmares. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night every night for the rest of my life it means I’m waking up next to you. I can deal with everything that comes our way if it’s helping you get through this.

But dammit, I can’t watch you kill yourself. I won’t.

If you don’t tell Grayson you quit tomorrow, I’m taking Lian and going.”

“… Nightwing has the day off tomorrow.”

“So we’ll give him a fucking phone call.”

“I do not want to leave the team without a leader.”

“Two words. Barbara _. Fucking **. Gordon**_. The girl’s been waiting on your ass to leave for the last year anyways.”

“…”

“If you say “that was three words” like I know you’re tempted to I will ounch you in the face, smartass.”

“I would not dare to contemplate it.”

“Good.”

“…”

“…”

“Roy?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank-you.”

“You’re welcome. Now help me make dinner. Lian wanted curry tonight and you know I’m terrible at sauces.”

“Roy?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, you giant disaster. C’mere.”


	8. Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off a post by battyraine over on tumblr- 
> 
> Her post: hit with sudden feels at 2am at night by the fact that Kaldur is physically incapable of holding hands
> 
> Her feels gave me feels, and here's the result.

You’d never minded it- being “impure”. When others had attempted to label you with that brand back in the military, and later in the academy- you had brushed it off. How could you be ashamed of your features, of your gills and webbing, when they were the very things that let you feel closer to your mother after you’d been away?

(The fact that such features were common in Shayeris, and even prized, helped. You are not without your vanities, try as you may to conceal them)

It had bothered you, some, on the surface. You had dreamed so long of coming to land, of the bright cities and tall buildings, of the people, the sounds and smells. It was difficult to hid your hands, though a tall collar usually worked for your gills. You learned to keep them in your pockets, a habit you disliked for how unwelcoming it made you appear. In the more polluted cities your gills stung. But these were minor problems, mere annoyances in comparison to the joys of discovering the surface world.

Your differences did not bother you overly much- you had never been made to feel shame for them, not like others that you have known. You suppose you are lucky that your own features are relatively small- you still look mostly human, and it is difficult but not impossible to blend in with land dwellers. You have friends, other students and squadmates, who had at times expressed morose disappointment that they would never be able to see the surface, to blend in to the thronging crowds of the great and bustling cities- they looked too different, or were even incapable of surviving land.

Your gills and webbing had never truly bothered you. Except-

Except it did not escape your notice, the way Tula and Garth had twined their hands as they saw you off to the surface. The intimacy had raised some envy in your heart- you truly were happy for your friends, but you could not help but wonder at what it must be like, to link so casually and yet so intimately with another.

Seeing the gesture repeated around you, again and again as the members of your team paired off- you would not call the feeling that pressed on your chest jealousy- but longing, perhaps.

When Raquel approached you after New Year’s with an offer of dinner, you were glad to accept. She was bold, somewhat abrasive, and loyal. The kind of bright, exuberant personality you desired, sometimes, to emulate. During your time together she would often kiss you in public, wrap an arm around your waist. You were more reserved in your public affections, but you enjoyed her enthusiasm.

Then there came a day when she tried to intertwine her fingers with yours. It had been in a particularly exciting moment, the two of you standing over your recently defeated foes. Your enemy had been a fire user, and had pinned you to a wall beneath an onslaught before Raquel had managed to trap him in one of her force fields. The fool had continued to use his powers, trying to break free. You had watched, panting and weak from the heat as he burned all of his air away. The moment he fell unconscious she ran to you, pulling you into an embrace. She had tried to clutch your hand in hers, a reassurance, only to be met with a cry of pain. The webbing between your fingers was sensitive, especially after your ordeal, and the force with which she grabbed you threatened to tear it.

She has apologized profusely and you had dismissed the mistake gracefully. But she handled you more carefully after that, like you had suddenly become more breakable, more alien. You think it had been the moment when your already casual relationship had begun to falter.

When she broke things off between you she had held your hand between hers, careful not to touch the webbing. Though the end of the relationship itself did not cause you any bitterness, the reminder of your inability stung.

As the search for Speedy dragged on, and Roy began to draw further and further away from the League, from Ollie, from **_you_** \- your hands began to bother you further. It is harder to hold someone back from destroying themselves on a fruitless cause when you can’t even grab their hand properly.

The small flaps of thin skin became symbolic of the distance that began to grow between the two of you- perhaps even of the ever present distance that seemed to separate you and the rest of the world.

There was a moment- seconds after Roy had yanked his hand from yours, storming out your apartment door to proceed with a practically suicidal plan to infiltrate black market technology rings in Shanghai in pursuit of a lead on Speedy-  You considered mutilating yourself, slitting the webbing so you could hold the most important person in your life back from his own destruction.

It was a passing impulse, and a foolish one at that. But it shook you, and you came to resent your mutations for the reminder they became; of the distance between you and Roy, the team, the bright surface world that shows too brightly and moves too quickly and too honestly for you to handle. It broke you in a way that the relentless bullying of the Academy had never accomplished.

And as you descended to Manta, cut your ties with the people and world you loved in a desperate attempt to save them- you thought bitterly to yourself that it was a lucky thing your hands cannot twine.

It made letting go easier.


	9. Kaldur Comes To Terms With The Rainbow in Rainbowfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title's for you, Shade.
> 
> Warnings: Homophobia, internalized homophobia, self-hatred.
> 
> Assurances: It goes happily, or as happily as it can, in the end.

He dreams or red hair and strong arms and he prays and prays to Poseidon that it’s Tula because it  _has_  to be Tula because isn’t it enough that he’s impure why does he have to be this too, he can’t possibly be that he’s THAT-

Because they’ve taught him, haven’t they? That that’s how the Greeks fell and the Romans after them. Permissiveness, disorder, man taking pleasure in man and woman in woman, upsetting the order and balance of nature upon which all magic depends upon.

_The gods frown, child._

And there’s no way that he can be that, feel that, not about Roy. The strong arms that hold him in his dreams are Tula’s- they’re big because she’s older, they’re big because he’s always felt so safe with her. Surely it’s symbolism. Just like the strength and hard flatness of her chest- not flesh at all, surely, no matter the human warmth of it.

_Armor._

Armor, because she’s strong (so much stronger than he has ever been or shall be). The red of her hair is one shade off in the dream because dreams are always discolored, aren’t they? And he hasn’t seen her in a while so he must just be forgetting.

As if he could forget her, a detail or her like the red of her hair of the gentle curve of her arms, elegant steel cables with none of the bulk of the ones that grip him in his sleeping and waking dreams. The blue of the eyes that call him have none of her green and hers have none of their sharp and teasing fire. She is laughter and light and the easy strength and grace of a dolphin, or a jetstream. She is smooth and graceful but  _surely_ it is not so hard a leap for his sleeping mind to imagine her to move like fire, with fury and burning.

He can pretend her hands are callused in a way no proficient sorcerer’s ever are.

This is how the Greeks fell, the Romans. It’s wrong and sick and he so desires to be good and just and this can’t be happening to him, not when he has so much to lose.

So he pretends, and he convinces himself he is in love (and he is).

And he  _is_  in love with her, because she’s part of him and always shall be and he misses her so greatly and he wants the comfort and security that he feels in her laugh and he wants the safety of loving this woman who is cool as tides. He wants the safety of her love, of her sweet coolness that could maybe please quench the damnable fire burning in his belly.

But at night he awakens with seed on his thighs and the fading sensations of red hair and blue (too blue) eyes and strong arms and callused hands and a rough, low voice in his ear. And he curls up and cries for her and tries to pretend he wants her the way he’s supposed to.

And he’s so heartbroken (really, he  _is_ ) when she doesn’t want him that way either. Because he can’t be safe, not now, and he’s not good enough for her and maybe she knows there’s something wrong with him.

And months later he’ll kick down that door and when Roy asks who broke his heart he’ll say Tula but he’ll have meant to say “you, because you’ve destroyed me and made me worth nothing”.

But eventually he’ll find out that Greece and Rome fell because they were bloated and fatted and too big and doomed by madness and lead and syphilis. He’ll learn it had more to do with economics and conquests than the love of men and men and women and women and permissiveness. And he’ll start looking at his home from inside out and oh god he  _loves_ them and he’ll  _die_ for them but some of them are wrong about Purity and there’s a chance that most of them are wrong about  _this_ , too.

And when Kaldur comes back from outer space he’ll find Roy who Cheshire’s left and he’ll finally let himself maybe,  _yes_ , fall in love. The first time he and Roy lie together in bed and Roy’s arms wrap around him and the red of his hair is in the center of his eyes Kaldur will weep and weep and he’ll be the bitter kind of happy that people who’ve lost that much have to be but he’ll finally have reached a dream that’s more than six years old but never died, not even when he wanted it to.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #‘oh hey i saw your mom on tv’ ‘beyonce is not my mother’ ‘uh-huh. hey do you want some fries with that salt?’ (via mechanicalpoet)  
> Or  
> In which Kaldur's Mom Looks Like Beyoncé, and Roy Harper Is A Little *Shit*.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout-out to chloenightwantsafight, backmantagirl, and mechanicalpoet over on tumblr for inspiring this.

Roy leaned back into the comfortable leather of the couch that dominated his and his boyfriend’s living room. A celebrity news channel, one that Artemis watched unabashedly and that Roy adamantly pretended to hate, provided background noise as he fletched his arrows. 

A familiar blond, beautiful woman was on tv. Grinning, Roy nudged Kaldur’s feet where they rested in his lap, disturbing the other man from his reading. “Hey, babe? Your mom’s on TV again.”

Kaldur sighed, not looking up from his League data pad. “Beyoncé is always on television, Roy,” he murmured distractedly.  “The entertainment industry on land would collapse without her and they know it.”

“Fair. Li’s still going to be mad she missed the new album dropping while she was at summer camp though.”

Kaldur huffed in amusement, pushing his feet further up into Roy’s lap to jab playfully at his thighs. “If you hadn’t convinced her that Beyonce was ‘Auntie Bé‘, we wouldn’t have this problem.”

* * *

It’s 2020 and Roy Harper had a band of yellow metal around his left ring finger that he still couldn’t believe actually happened, because life wasn’t supposed to be _that_ good. 

And apparently life agreed, because the joker running for the conservative party that election cycle was someone the League has only narrowly failed to lock up several times. The bastard actual seemed to have a chance at winning–tangerine complexion, raging misogyny the likes of which his daughter should NEVER have to bear witness to, racial slurs, and all. 

Roy looked over his morning newspaper, which he was becoming increasingly convinced was really just a plot to ruin his day before its even started, and regarded the man across the table. 

A thin, gold chain was draped around the man’s neck, a golden band matching Roy’s own swinging from it gently as Kaldur buttered a slice of toast.  

Roy’s eyes caught on it for the thousandth time this month. He forced himself to bite back a smile. “You should tell your mom to run for president.”

Kaldur remained studiously focused on his toast, spreading the butter in a precisely even layer. “My mother is not an American citizen, Roy.”

Roy took a sip from his coffee, hiding the smile that had bloomed into a full blown grin. “Babe, she’s from Houston. You can’t get anymore American than _Texas_. Though judging by how it went for the last guy it probably won’t stop people from claiming she was born in Kenya or something.”

Kaldur continued buttering his toast, nonplussed. “Ah. _That_ mother.”

Roy grinned at him, knowing full well that Kaldur enjoyed the game as much as he did. After a second the grin took on a thoughtful tone. “Shalain'a'ah would make a boss President too, though,” Roy mused. 

Kaldur snorted, an inelegant sound that no one outside of the original Team would _ever_ believe actually came out of the graceful Atlantean’s mouth. “No,” he admonished. “She’d be terrible. I love my mother, but she does not suffer fools well.”

Roy quirked a brow “Where do you think _you_ get it from, then?” he asked, gesturing at Kaldur with his mug. 

Kaldur’s eyes tracked the droplets of coffee that flew from the cup onto the tablecloth. He took a moment to stare at them pointedly, before looking Roy in the eyes, one blonde brow raised disapprovingly. “Excuse me?

Roy’s grin was the same full, shit-eating megawatt smile it was when Kaldur said ‘Yes’ seven months ago. “Well _you_ married one, didn’t you?”

Kaldur’s expression went soft, and he reached his hands across the table for Roy’s own. “Point.”

* * *

Roy looked up from doing the dishes when Kaldur slumped into the kitchen, obviously tired from his turn mentoring the Teen Titans team. 

Roy dried his hands on the towel draped over his bare shoulder. He never did the dishes with a shirt on if he could help it. Hated getting them wet. “Hey, your mom called.”

Kaldur collapsed in one of the kitchen chairs, head tilted back, eyes closed with exhaustion. “My mother doesn’t have a phone, Roy. She lives underwater.”

Roy started stacking dry dishes back into the cupboard, careful to keep the clanging to a minimum. “No, no. Your _other_ mom.”

Kaldur’s face shifted, going stone blank. His eyes stayed closed, but his voice had that eerie, supernatural calm to it that it usually only gets when someone is about to do something suicidally stupid and Kaldur is giving them a chance not to. “Roy Harper. Beyoncé Knowles did not call this house.”

A smart man would have edged closer to the door or window, either of them being a viable exit from the kitchen and significantly safer than being anywhere near a peeved off Atlantean warrior-sorcerer. 

Roy came up behind Kaldur, settling his hands on tense shoulders, kneading into the muscle with his thumbs. Kaldur melted a little, arching imperceptibly up into the touch. “She totally did.”

Kaldur sighed, put upon. He opened bleary green eyes, squinting up at Roy balefully from beneath golden lashes. “No. Because, my _love_ ,” he emphasized, and whether it was a reminder addressed at Roy or himself was anyone’s guess. “If _Beyoncé Knowles_ had called this house you, being the loving and _life-valuing_ husband that you are, would have alerted me _before_ she hung up.”

Roy grinned, merely working his hands harder into Kaldur’s shoulders, taking shameless advantage of his husband’s constant stress knots. “Would it help if I told you she’s planning on stopping by the apartment tomorrow?”

Kaldur’s brow furrowed, expression turning serious. “Roy. You know the League doesn’t allow us to associate with celebrities during hero business.”

Roy’s grin widened. “Actually, she wants to meet your mom.”

Kaldur sat up in the chair, turning in it to face Roy. “Pardon?”  
  
Roy shrugged, taking advantage of the position to press a kiss to the corner of Kaldur’s temple. “I dunno. Something about wanting to meet her twin?”

Kaldur stilled, face considering. After a few stretches of silence, he took Roy’s face in his hands, drawing the other man down and in for a long kiss. 

As they parted, Kaldur’s face was back to being serious. “We need to clean the apartment.”

Roy would normally be down for cleaning the apartment, especially considering who was coming over. It’s not like their little family was very messy, anyways. 

But at the moment his pants were getting _uncomfortably_ tight, reminding him that he hadn’t seen his husband in four days, and that Lian was due back from Dinah and Oliver’s in an hour. “Babe–”

“– _Now_ , Harper.”


End file.
